- Sing “hit me baby one more time” during a spanking.
- Squirt lube/squirty cream in his face and tell him I’m into ‘giving’ facials.
- Hide his spanking implements and replace them with Pokemon cards and chocolate bars.
- Use the Hitachi Wand as a pretend microphone.
- Say “now make me a sandwich” after he’s made me cum.
- Ask if he “kisses his momma with that mouth” while he’s dirty talking.
- Shout “ThunderCats are go” when he’s about to cum.
- Roll my eyes.
- Stomp my feet.
- Spank him with a spatula.
- Refer to him as “my bitch”
- Decorate with stickers, or attach balloons to his toy collection.
- Put nipple clamps on the chicken breasts in his fridge.
- Glue all the pegs together.
- Say “good girl” or “left a bit, right a bit” or hand him an A to Z while he’s performing oral sex on me.
- Recite the plot to High School Musical when he asks me how my day has been.
- Replace the contents of his underwear drawer with pretty girl knickers.
- Fill his pockets full of sequins and glitter.
- Draw a willy on his face while he sleeps.
- Draw a face on his willy while he sleeps.
- Attempt to capture/kidnap/restrain him. He is much taller, stronger, smarter, and meaner than me. Remember that!
- Use his rope for skipping.
- Refer to the kitchen as “his office”
- Change his desktop wallpaper to a collage of kittens, cupcakes and hearts.
- Change his ringtone to Justin Bieber.
- Shout “Hammer Time” when he tells me to stop.
- Text him random facts about cats in the middle of the night.
- Ask “is it in yet?”
- Call him Daddy in the supermarket, while squeezing his bum.
- Shout “you shall not pass” when he tries to insert his penis into me.
- Ask him to “take the Ring to Mordor” and hand him a cock ring.
- Refer to sex as porking or making bacon.
- Talk to him all about bacteria when he asks for dirty talk.
- Call his penis Princess Fluffykins/Pretty McPrettyton/a grown up lollipop.
- Say “she shoots, she scores” or score him out of ten after we’ve done the blanket dance.
- Ask if he has his man period.
- Stomp my feet and say “but I want to ride the penis”
- Gargle his man juice, or wipe it on his curtains.
- Pretend to choke to death.
- Use Bazinga as a safeword.
- Compare his penis to a strap on, and threaten him with it.
- Ask “are we there yet?” during sex.
- Make sheep noises.
- Measure/hit his penis with a spoon.
- Say “mmm you smell like my dad”
- Rickroll him during sex.
- Shout “trolls, trolls, the fucking trolls” in the middle of the night.
- Go cock eyed while looking up during a blow job.
- Pull his hair and call him Mary.
- Make him roses out of cum tissues.
- Stop mid hand job and ask him to pull my finger.
- Fall asleep during luuuuuurve making.
- Sing the Hokey Pokey while he contours me into different positions.
- Threaten him with vegetables.
- Ask if he’s paying with cash or credit card.
- Punch the air/do the “I got laid” dance after sex.
- Disagree with his choice of punishment, and recommend my own.
- Call him a wuss/girl/wimp/pussy. It hurts.
- Threaten to stop tending my lady garden.
- Write threats on the bathroom mirror.
- Tell him I want a knickerbocker glory. We have different ideas of what this is!
- Put vegetables/slices of meat in his bed and tell him he has upset the local farmers market mafia.
- Shout “safeword” or “hard limit” when he tries to express his feelings.
- Perform surprise popping candy blow jobs.
- Do a Gollum impression and say “my precious” when he whispers threats in my ear.
- Continue to reference Lord of the Rings.
- Hogtie him while he sleeps. Boundaries. Consent. I’m learning.
- Do ice down his pants surprise attacks.
- Shout “beam me up, Scotty” when pulls out a Hitachi wand.
- Jump up and down on his bed while shouting “look at me! Check me out! I’m so awesome! I can swim like a motherfucking fish!”
- Ask him where he thinks our relationship is going?, What’s on the tellybox later?, How his mum is doing? when he’s about to cum.
- Hide chocolate buttons in his fleshlight. Chocolate willy surprise!
- Sew his belt to his pants.
- Take a picture of his cum face “SAY CHEESE!”
*retitles as “List of things to do”*
LOL things I may do…
Shout “TROLL! TROLL in the dungeon,” when he inserts.
See, this is why I would have a girlfriend, let alone a Mistress, for very lone. I’d make it a point to do just about every one of these.
I do like to take control of the cock before it goes in me, especially if we have been apart for a while. I like to savour the moment, the tension, the anticipation. I like to touch it and caress it so lightly, almost not touching it, just brushing the heat of my hands over it. Then I let it near my pussy. Rub my clit with it, tease my openings, brush my lips. And then, only then when I’m ready, guide him in at MY speed. I don’t want it all in at once. I like it to go in slowly to start with. The fact that it drives him demented because he wants in is irrelevant. It’s my time.
Photo with 1 note
there a slightly different version. SO check out shiniez on deviantart
Clothes pegs (pins) are such fun, versatile things!
One Night Stand
He knew she was a crazy bitch, but never imagined he’d be bound and gagged in his own bedroom, teased and denied for hours. He was usually the one controlling the scene, and being taken this way was exhilarating and frightening. But he knew he was truly lost when she added the zipper and started vibing and riding, her cunt so slick and tight, clamping on him, his cock and balls ready to burst, helpless with need. She pulled the string, and the ripped pegs felt like fire. He exploded, screaming and cumming, thrusting deep into her like a piston, completely out of control.
He awoke, alone, daylight streaming through the windows. As the memory of last night came to him he bolted upright, happy to be unbound. There were faint marks on his wrists and ankles. His phone was blinking. She had sent him a picture of himself, passed out but still bound, cum all over his waist and thighs, a boyish smile on his lips.
All her message said was “You’re mine.”
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